Faithful Thoughts

Welcome to my first post on "Faithful Thoughts". This first edition will specifically be about helping your child find his/herself. I have to admit that this topic has had me stumped. You see, I really only have 6 years of parenting experience. I have limited experience in this area because so far my life with kids has all been about molding them into the type of child I want them to be. That, and the basics that keep moms so busy in those first years...waiting for the big milestones, potty training, sending them off to preschool, etc. This year was a little more traumatic...sending my oldest off to kindergarten! :) I've noticed a difference in my daughter this year. I've noticed how her peers influence a lot of her decisions and I'm learning how important it is to have a good foundation at home and to be aware of all things/friends in her life! But in order to give my kids a good foundation, I need to teach them what kind of values I hold dear and want them to hold dear so that they will make good decisions. How do you combine that with giving them the freedom to explore their world and who they are? It seems like a fine balance.

Now, I have so much to learn. I have no special wisdom. One particular thing that comes to mind is hobbies. Figure skating was a huge part of my life for a long time. When I became the mother of a daughter I couldn't wait for her to put ice skates on! And as soon as she could wear the smallest size skates, she was out there. And you know what? She hated it! So what do I do? She's only 3 or 4 years old at this point. Does she know enough to know she hates it? Do I need to encourage her to stick with it and not give up? I decided, as much as it pained me, to let her quit skating. She wanted to swim, so I encouraged that instead. She loves it! I can definitely see a difference in how she reacts to swimming. Now she has also decided that she wants to dance. I've decided I want to give her all the opportunities I can to let her explore what is out there. I want her to look back on her childhood and know that I encouraged her to find something she loved and took pride in watching her excel at. Isn't that better then being a dreaded "skating mom", you know, the kind who forces their child to do what they wanted to do in their youth...the kind who live their dreams through their children? Well, I think so :) Not that I will encourage her give up on things too easily...she doesn't much enjoy going to church lately. She doesn't like AWANAS and now she's decided she doesn't like children's choir. Not going to church is not an option. I help out in her class at AWANAS and can see why she doesn't enjoy it (that is a whole other story). But, she isn't allowed to give up both AWANAS and choir. I gave her a choice, she could drop one or the other. I thought she'd drop AWANAS, but she picked choir! Then she decided she wanted to stick with both! Maybe she just wanted the freedom to choose for herself.

Jeremiah 29:11...one of my all time favorite verses. "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Wow, we all know God has a plan for us but do you know how wonderful, how comforting it is to know He has a plan for our children, too? If I am in the Word, if I am raising my children in the Word, then He will merely use me as an instrument to carry out His plans for my children. God has the best to offer my children. It is my job to trust in that and to take precious care of all He has entrusted me with. And I believe this can be true with anything from cultivating talents on up to much bigger life decisions. It's not always going to be blissful, it won't always be painful, but it will always be perfect if it's part of His plan.

So, what will I do? I'll teach my kids the values I hold dear. I'll teach them about God, about Jesus, about how important it is to have a relationship with Him. I'll seek out the things I see they are good at, I'll encourage them, I will praise the good things they do, I will build them up to feel good about themselves, I will punish when necessary, but most important I'll pray for my children. I will look to God for His counsel. I will trust God for their futures.

Annie