I am torn between two worlds. It is a paradox of my own making and I take responsibility for it. I am perplexed as to how to live with other people who's ideas of daily life differ greatly from my own and what battles I should choose to fight. What began as a plan to keep the peace has turned into me feeling the need to fight for my normalcy.
One thing I have learned is that I am unprepared to deal with older children. I have to face the fact that what I expected and what is reality are very different. Now I am faced with the daunting task of trying to regain some equilibrium and keep some relationships. There are many changes that will have to take place in the days/weeks to come in order for the remainder of our experience to be successful and I only pray I am up to the task.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
This Moment in Time
Ah, but time flies. It seems like I just cannot pull my life together enough to put it on the blog. I checked my readership today and well, I guess if I don't post, no one will check in.
So for the update, as in years past, I have survived Christmas again. I used the word "survived" simply because that is a bit how it felt this year. With the uncertainty of the economic climate, money is tight and worries high. I guess you could say my life is a Marine's haircut, "high and tight". I sat in my quiet house on Christmas night, after children were settled and in bed and thanked God for the miracle of Christmas. I know that I have always referred to Christmas miracles as a nostalgic, "wonder of the season" kind of thing but the miracle was evident this year in our house as somehow I did Christmas for more people on a smaller budget. All in all it was a nice day of rest, relaxation and family, exactly what it is meant to be.
Of course this time of year always makes me reflect, another purpose of the season, and I have had some very surprising thoughts. Mostly I've been surprised at how I've grown up in 2009. There is a contentment in my heart as I look back on the past and I am grateful for that. It is funny to me to think that while we are at a most uncertain moment in history, I am most certain about my place in the world. Even as I type that sentence, I realize that it is too concise. Many hours of worry, prayer and outright pleading with the Lord have brought me to this moment of placing my life into a "Times New Roman" sentence on your computer screen. Of course I know that there will be days when I question, again, the direction and purpose of my path but for now I am happy in the respite of peace from the endless distractions of my human mind.
I cannot help, as now I stand on the precipice of a new year, but to think about what the future will bring. This year brought with it more troughs and peaks than an amusement park ride and yet the upcoming year looks to be poised for the same adventure. It's a good thing I've grown to enjoy roller coasters.
So here is my goal; (set to coincide with the time of year when all resolutions are made) to find and enjoy the good, learn from and move through the bad and keep a place in my heart for all I learn.
May your New Year be bright!
So for the update, as in years past, I have survived Christmas again. I used the word "survived" simply because that is a bit how it felt this year. With the uncertainty of the economic climate, money is tight and worries high. I guess you could say my life is a Marine's haircut, "high and tight". I sat in my quiet house on Christmas night, after children were settled and in bed and thanked God for the miracle of Christmas. I know that I have always referred to Christmas miracles as a nostalgic, "wonder of the season" kind of thing but the miracle was evident this year in our house as somehow I did Christmas for more people on a smaller budget. All in all it was a nice day of rest, relaxation and family, exactly what it is meant to be.
Of course this time of year always makes me reflect, another purpose of the season, and I have had some very surprising thoughts. Mostly I've been surprised at how I've grown up in 2009. There is a contentment in my heart as I look back on the past and I am grateful for that. It is funny to me to think that while we are at a most uncertain moment in history, I am most certain about my place in the world. Even as I type that sentence, I realize that it is too concise. Many hours of worry, prayer and outright pleading with the Lord have brought me to this moment of placing my life into a "Times New Roman" sentence on your computer screen. Of course I know that there will be days when I question, again, the direction and purpose of my path but for now I am happy in the respite of peace from the endless distractions of my human mind.
I cannot help, as now I stand on the precipice of a new year, but to think about what the future will bring. This year brought with it more troughs and peaks than an amusement park ride and yet the upcoming year looks to be poised for the same adventure. It's a good thing I've grown to enjoy roller coasters.
So here is my goal; (set to coincide with the time of year when all resolutions are made) to find and enjoy the good, learn from and move through the bad and keep a place in my heart for all I learn.
May your New Year be bright!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
My nine year old wrote this today at school, I thought it was pretty good.
This is what I think about Christmas.
I see a dark sky on Christmas Eve. I hear people singing Christmas Carols. I feel cold, icy snow fall on my head. I smell a strong scent of peppermint in the air. I taste sugar in the sugar cookies. I see lights on houses. I smell pine by the Christmas tree. I hear jingling jingle bells. That is what I see, hear, smell, fell and taste on Christmas.
This is what I think about Christmas.
I see a dark sky on Christmas Eve. I hear people singing Christmas Carols. I feel cold, icy snow fall on my head. I smell a strong scent of peppermint in the air. I taste sugar in the sugar cookies. I see lights on houses. I smell pine by the Christmas tree. I hear jingling jingle bells. That is what I see, hear, smell, fell and taste on Christmas.
The Italian
So I'm babysitting a seventeen year old Italian boy today. Okay, so babysitting is probably not the right word but really he's just hanging out at my house while the area rep. is out of town for the day.
It's been very fun but I am now changing my name to United Nations
It's been very fun but I am now changing my name to United Nations
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