Faithful Thoughts/ Lula Mae

The question this month for Faithful Thoughts was "How do you help your child find him/herself?" We've each been thinking about it for several days now and as you've read, Annie has posted her thoughts. Now it's my turn.

First, I will admit that my greatest understanding of my children has come in the past year. I guess I may be a late bloomer in the parent department but I really think that most parents feel the way I do: you get better with practice.

When my first son was born, I really didn't have a detailed plan for him. Parenthood was simply a day to day affair for me. Of course, there were milestones I knew he would reach and there were experiences I wanted him to have but in terms of a detailed life map, I had none. I still don't. But I knew that it is a parent's responsibility to give a child a core set of values, an anchor or compass that will enable them to determine direction when they are on their own. We must help them distinguish between meaningful happiness and instant gratification. There are things I believe are vital for them to know in order to be happy in this life and prepared for the next and I will teach them these things in the hopes that they will in fact find them to be true on their own. Ultimately, I know they will make their own determinations and choose their own paths as they get older. But the things I am teaching them now are tools to help them be able to wade through all the options life will offer them. Beyond that, I am realizing that a child's personal development is best stimulated by parents who can simply see their child as the adult he/she will become and not just the child he/she is at the time. Really, I believe our children understand how they fit into the world as children better than we do as adults but left to their own devices and lacking a compass, they will gravitate toward anything that makes them feel fulfilled. And all too often gratification is mistaken for fulfillment. All you end up with is a lost adult.

I have learned that my children are pretty good at discovering their talents within themselves all on their own. It is up to me to help them develop the talents they already have. I used to think that I had to expose them to everything early on; art, music, sports, you name it. After all, how does someone know they like soccer unless they've played it? But I am finding, with my oldest, that in spite of all the lessons, games and conversations his interests are very different than I had assumed. I think it is more about drawing out the inside talent, than forcing interest in an outside experience.


I realize that as a mother I have a grand opportunity to watch something awe-inspiring and beautiful as my children make their way through life. The time of parenthood is swift and unsure but I hope that as I get to interact with these growing human beings I help them see how beautiful they are and prepare them for where ever they may land.