I have to say I'm glad the topic is showing love to our family not feeling love for our family. I think it's easier to "fake it till you make it" sometimes when it comes to kids. I'm sure I'll say many of the same things that the other ladies have said so I'll keep it brief.
When Colby and I first got married we adopted a scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants (a book of scripture in the LDS Church) that states: "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy." (D&C 121:43) Now let me make it clear that the "sharpness" quoted here is not a condoning of yelling or physical punishment. I think this scripture sums it up well, if we don't show love to our children they may come to esteem us as their enemies. I think evidence of this abounds in today's society.
Showing love comes in many forms, Lisa and Annie have both addressed many of them very well. I'd like to add in detail that setting boundaries and consequences are other ways to show children we care.
When we, as mothers find out we are expecting a child our first thoughts are of cradling that infant in our arms and smothering him/her with innumerable kisses but I think that many times when we finally hold those babies as two year olds we find it increasingly difficult to "stand our ground" when it comes to teaching them basics like sharing and appropriate behavior. I know that my daughter (at the wonderful age of two now) tests my endurance like none of my other children have. She yells, hollers and screams far more aggressively than her brothers ever did. My first instinct is to give her what she wants. Just make it stop. But I'm also smart enough as a mother of three older boys to know that a tantrum from a two year old is nothing compared to the smoldering standoff a ten year old can throw at you.
I know children will test the limits throughout their lives at home but can we imagine what our children would be like if there were no limits? Imagine driving on the freeway without lanes or a city without a police force? Chaos would rule. The difference between being a police officer and being a mom is that when a child "breaks the law" I have the great opportunity to show love and mercy. That is what makes the greatest difference. When all is said and done after an episode, I try to make a point of giving my children hugs and telling them repeatedly that I love them. I want them to know that this show of affection is not out of guilt but out of deep concern for their well being and a fierce love for their sweet spirit. In the end, I think I'm figuring this all out as I go along. Sometimes I get it right, other times I hope I haven't done irreparable damage to my kids. Ultimately I think if I'm truly seeking Heavenly Father's guidance and doing my best things will work out for the best. Here's hoping!
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