Last week, in our area, a woman left her five month old son in a car on a 90+ degree day. He was in the car for about two hours and when the mother went to get him, he was unresponsive. He was rushed to the hospital where, a while later he passed away. It was estimated that the interior of the car reached 130 degrees. The mother, who was devastated by all accounts, said she forgot she had her son with her thus leaving him in the car for that length of time.
The authorities are weighing the decision to press charges or not and there has been a very loud outcry calling for her to be punished. Many are asking; "How could she forget her child for two hours?" My husband even surprised me by saying she ought to be thrown in jail.
We have lived in areas before where something like this has happened in one form or another. Children of various ages forgotten or locked in by accident who more often than not die.
I have mixed feelings about what to do in a situation like this. I realize that in all cases, there is negligence. But are all cases equally negligent? Is every mother or father who does this deliberately choosing to "forget" their infant? Or so grossly unqualified to take care of a child they make this kind of mistake? I have a hard time believing that all of these parents are complete zeros who's inability to care for a child leads to the untimely death of their offspring. While I may be in the minority here, I think that we need to proceed with caution when it comes to dealing with these people. I can't imagine what's it would be like having to face jail time while dealing with the death of a child that I caused. I hope that while the authorities look deeply into the circumstances around the event they do so with a measure of compassion.
6 comments:
I agree with you--I feel so badly for this mother. Thank goodness nothing like this has happened to you or me, but we have all done things that result in our children getting less than our best efforts. We are often quick to judge others but someday may find ourselves (or those we know) in similar circumstances.
What a horrible story. We hear these things every year. I agree with Lula Mae and with Lisa r.d. I obviously do not know this mother, but a 5 month old baby...she is probably so sleep deprived and maybe even dealing with PPD. Who knows? It scares me to death. I'm finding that I'm becoming more forgetful about things...
They don't need to throw this Mom in jail. She'll be in Hell for the rest of her life anyway.
Here's how I feel: I'm not sure jail is the right answer, but I certainly feel like she needs to be "punished" for what happened. We are parents, it is our responsibility to watch out for our children, it is our duty to make sure they're safe.
On one hand, we have things that happen totally by accident; like pool drownings, or children falling into ditches/wells/holes, or a child who runs into the street in front of a car. Does this make the parents wholly responsible? Probably not.
On the other hand there are things that don't happen by accident; abuse (any form), neglect, severe punishments which lead to deaths.
My problem with the car scenario is that these mothers (or fathers) must have been IN THE CAR with the infant before (s)he left the child in the car. Someone must have put that child in the car seat and left it there. It's really a matter of irresponsibility.
I guess I'm not quick to give the benefit of the doubt. I understand people have different circumstances and different things going on in their lives, and I really can't make a blanket statement for all parents who make mistakes like these, but I feel strongly that these parents need to be taught a lesson. Whether of responsibility, accountability, or possibly receive some serious help for memory issues or mental health issues.
Moving to Arizona, I am terrified that something like this could happen to me. But I think my fear makes me all the more likely to never forget my children. And if I locked them in the car by accident, I'd break a window really quickly. No question.
There were laws being passed in Vegas about leaving kids in the car, even while running. It was happening so much in Vegas. It seemed as if we heard a story about a death of a child left in a car way too much. I think that the laws helped to remind parents that leaving kids in the car, even for a second, it is not ok.
My opinion is that god will be the judge of this mother and she will get whatever is coming to her.
In some situations it is obvious the parents are just irresponsible but in others, it is not. Perhaps each situation needs to be evaluated differently. Is she going to be a danger to society or future children? Probably not.
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