I think Jane Austen was a purveyor of truth. Stories of romance and social injustice are often laced with the pitiful cattiness of humanity as well as the triumph of the good heart. I love books like this. Not just clever romance novels or writings on class systems in various countries, but the mesmerizing relationships of women. It's not a hidden sexual fantasy about the same sex but a longing for the freedom to openly need one another. How deeply we need each other! It seems that women from bygone times knew this, or were more open with these expressions. Perhaps it was because equality with men was unattainable and so for our survival we formed the ranks of sisterhood. Have we sold our female closeness for what we perceive to be equality with men? Throughout the ages women have sought each other for compassion and comfort. We have wept with one another and laughed with one another, shared life and death and every daily struggle. But it seems today that acknowledging our neediness is perceived as our greatest weakness.
I have the privilege to know great women. I watch them when I can, I admire them always, but so often from these feelings come insecurity and even jealousy and a desire to hide my weakness. How many opportunities for learning and kindness I have missed because of my desire to appear strong. Maybe life is too fast or maybe we have created a world where individual enrichment and strength is seen as the greatest wealth. I'm not suggesting that women no longer share kindnesses with one another, I am lamenting that we are forgetting how to accept them, or even more so, we have forgotten that it's important to need them. I believe it is probably one of the greatest gifts women can give to one another, the open acknowledgement that we need someone. We all need to be needed. We crave it! And when we feel unneeded, we make room for all the emotions that are hard and sad.
I have thus decided to become a follower of Jane's heroines. This will be a difficult task, one through which I will feel a great deal of discomfort but I am determined to show my friends and family I love them by allowing myself to need them and allowing them to know I need them. I am convinced that through this I will learn more than I could ever dream of understanding on my own.
To every woman on this mother's day weekend; you are needed, wanted and loved.
3 comments:
Dear Tifany,
Thank you for the wonderful Mother's Day post. These are the lessons every woman must learn to find fulfillment. I think that most of us are better at giving than receiving, but I really do believe that we are hard-wired to do both.
The world has made us so competitive that we don't allow ourselves to let each other see our vulnerabilities. It's a shame because that is where we get to know each other.
We don't have to be all things to all people. We just need to be who we are, and be willing to share that to bless others. We all have unique gifts to give that will bless the world, and in the giving, fulfill and enrich ourselves.
I, like you, wish that women would embrace this wonderful sisterhood that we can share, and spend less time competing with each other and more time nurturung each other.
To all the women reading this blog, Happy Mother's Day! You are fabulous creatures with unlimited capacity to strengthen and bless each other.
This was beautifully written and well thought out.... thanks for sharing your thoughts, as always, they have made me think. You are good example to us all. Happy Mother's Day!
Tiff,
Thank you for writing such beautiful words. It's sad to see that we pull apart to try and show we are strong, when if if pull together there is no end to the good and true strength we have.
Just so you know, I've always needed you! =)
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