Hi, this is Annie here (Lula Mae's friend). This month's topic for Faithful Thoughts is how you show your love to your family. Okay, I admit this was my month to choose a topic and I guess I was inspired by Valentine's Day and the fact that I had a peaceful couple of weeks with my kids. Unfortunately, the past two weeks have been the complete opposite so I'm not feeling lovey-dovey about my children right now. Now I am thinking, "what WAS I thinking?" when I came up with this topic. So, mentally I am trying to recall happier times with my kids. Let's give this a shot.
For Valentine's Day I decided I was going to try to do something sweet and special this year, something that I wanted to repeat every year. I had all these warm and fuzzy images in my head of my kids and I sitting at the table making and cutting out red hearts and gluing them on white lacey paper. Then I had planned to pull aside one child at a time and ask them to tell me a few things they love about their siblings, their daddy, and me (though Daddy was suppose to do this part). So, we started out making the hearts and my warm lovey-dovey images of doing this soon turned to stress and panic, then hysteria because my 3 year old wanted to do this (the cutting) on his own and wouldn't let me help him, thus he wasn't making beautiful hearts which was quite upsetting to him. Then I find myself yelling and irritated, extremely irritated, and muttering to myself, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" Not exactly the way I wanted to act while I am making cards telling my children I love them! :) Okay, so we did eventually get past that part. I pulled Katie aside and asked her to tell me what she loves about Zach ("he's cool" made me laugh), what she loves about Gracie, and what she loves about Daddy. I wrote these thoughts on the imperfect hearts we somehow still managed to create (although Katie's hearts were perfect, wonder where she gets this perfectionist trait from). I then pulled Zach aside and then just made some up for Gracie (she's only 1). Scott and I did one for each child, too. We each received our hearts on Valentine's Day night and I finally had the magic moment I had longed for...the looks on my children's faces when they heard, with delight, what each of us loved about each other. Now, it was worth it.
How do we show love on any average day? Unfortunately I worry that I'm not very good at this. I spend the majority of my day saying things like, "don't touch that, stop running in the house, go to time out, you don't say no to mommy"....well, you get the drift. I feel all sorts of mushy love for my children when I'm putting them to bed at night, though! Well, until they come out of their room for the billionth time needing something. I'm convinced these are the hard years...having three kids 4 1/2 years apart and at the age they are at now. Everyone tells me to just wait until they're teenagers. Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, that will probably be harder emotionally, but physically, I'm dying here and could use all the encouragement I can get for the here and now, which quite frankly isn't ever enough.
I try to console myself that if God couldn't get Adam and Eve to obey then I shouldn't sweat it if I have issues with my kids. Kids need love and guidance and choices. God certainly gave Adam and Eve a choice, "you can eat from any of these other beautiful trees, but don't eat from this one!" Of course, they did exactly what they shouldn't do so why do I expect any different from my kids? The thing I'm trying to teach is that I'm your mother and I HAVE to love you, even when you are being a pain! But your friends do not have to love you like I do, so you need to make nicer choices or you're going to have a hard time out in the real world! Okay, what is that verse again? Love is patient, love is kind...oh yeah, 1 Corinthians 13:4.
So the past few weeks I have shown my children I love them by using my many teachable moments to instruct and reprimand, if need be. But simple acts of delighting in their pleasures, cheering them in their successes, sympathizing in their defeats, and (most importantly) showing them God's love for them are part of it too. Playing with them is big and it's not my favorite thing to do. Katie thinks of me as her playmate for the entire day. I remind her I gave her a brother and a sister to be her playmates, so leave me alone! No, not really. I do play with her and I believe her love language is quality time. She likes my attention, which is far too hard to get at times. We do things like pretending we are other people. She always tells me who I am suppose to be and then tells me what I said was wrong and then tells me what to say. Oh yes, this is fun! But then we scrapbook together and this is something I love. She has her notebooks, the pictures I give her that I'm not going to use, and stickers and she plugs along right with me. It's great fun and we have great conversation while we do it. I hope she'll never outgrow that. Actually, it will be a sad day when we don't play "pretend" anymore, too.
If you've never read the Love Languages book for your children I highly recommend it. I can already tell what my two older kids love languages are. It is helpful when you are dealing with your children in happy or frustrating circumstances.
For Zach, I think he feels most loved by us when we make a big deal over something he made at school. He's always very proud when we put his latest artwork on the refrigerator. He loves for us to build him up with positive words. You can just see him beam with pride when we put things on the fridge or when we say something to him about what a good boy he is, what he did well, etc.
Gracie is so young, I show her love by cheering her on as she's learning to walk, by playing with her, feeding her, cuddling with her, etc.
My husband...oh this one is tough. There is so much energy spent on the kids every day that by the time they're in bed my husband and I crash! Quite frankly, neither one of us puts enough effort into this, although he probably is better at this then I am. Date nights are a must, though not done often enough. I think we're both good about allowing each other to go do something away from the kids when we want, though I take this advantage far more often then he does. If I sat here and and tried to think of things, I'd come up with far more, but my brain cells have died this week so I'm not going to make any more attempts. What I will say here is that it is oh-so-important to carve out time with our husbands because I know they often times feel neglected (moms can too) once the children arrive. You have to nurture your marriage just as much as your children. If you ignore your spouse then what will you have in common with him once the kids are grown and gone? Let's encourage one another to make a special effort to carve time out with our spouses this month. And I will encourage you, also, to discover your children's love languages. Have a good month!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
And the Oscar Goes to....
I watched part of the Oscars last night because I am a sucker for pretty dresses. My oldest son wanted to watch as well but due to the fact that he has an oral report due today, he had to put some practice time in so I said no. After his practicing was complete it was time for bed and as he headed down to the basement for the night I heard him ask; "Mom, if Zac Ephron wins an Oscar, wake me up."
Thursday, February 21, 2008
FYI
I had the opportunity to spend the day at the state capitol with our local legislators yesterday and I feel like I learned quite a bit. One specific issue stuck out to me because it has been in the news lately. I'm talking about class size reduction and all the media attention it has recieved. The local news did a report on class size spending and the opinion that was given was that lots of money has been spent and class sizes have remained the same. Some legislators would have us believe that since so much money has been thrown at class size and nothing has happened we must be wasting money. Here are some of the omitted facts:
First, class size funding has been under or un-funded for the past seven years. The reason for this is (drum roll please) somehow, no one took into consideration the growth we would have over that time. So all funding numbers have been based on exisiting students, not potential students.
Second, the legislature assigned their own auditors to "follow the money trail". Adhering to this request, the auditors realized that during the last economic down turn (about seven years ago) the legislature removed the requirement that class room funds be accounted for. With the argument that tracking funds is expensive, the codes that required tracking were revised.
Luckily, 40% of administrators decided to track the money anyway so there were some numbers that could be used by the auditors.
The results of that audit were, as I stated before, that for a 7 year stretch, classes were under or un-funded and there was no foresight for exponential growth.
The result is HB 194. A 26 million dollar bill for class size reduction. This is a tiered bill, in that it comes in 5 million dollar increments based on benchmarks. Unfortunately, this year there is not enough money to do everything the public wants.
In addition to class room funding (or in competition with) is teacher pay. Currently there is 171 million in the education coffers. If we give each teacher a $2,500 raise then that only leaves 3 million for class room funding and of course, the numbers flip when the money is spent on class room funding and not teacher pay. (There are other numbers such as increasing the WPU to 7 or making it 3 which can tweek the numbers also and there is not the surplus that has been reported due to a slight slowing in the economy. That's a whole other entry.)
It seems this year we are stuck between two good decisions. I of course, am for better teacher pay but I am also for smaller class sizes. I am going to contact my legislator to see what his thoughts are and I encourage everyone to do the same. Let's make sure that the best action is taken for our kids.
You can find your legislator's information at www.le.state.ut.us
First, class size funding has been under or un-funded for the past seven years. The reason for this is (drum roll please) somehow, no one took into consideration the growth we would have over that time. So all funding numbers have been based on exisiting students, not potential students.
Second, the legislature assigned their own auditors to "follow the money trail". Adhering to this request, the auditors realized that during the last economic down turn (about seven years ago) the legislature removed the requirement that class room funds be accounted for. With the argument that tracking funds is expensive, the codes that required tracking were revised.
Luckily, 40% of administrators decided to track the money anyway so there were some numbers that could be used by the auditors.
The results of that audit were, as I stated before, that for a 7 year stretch, classes were under or un-funded and there was no foresight for exponential growth.
The result is HB 194. A 26 million dollar bill for class size reduction. This is a tiered bill, in that it comes in 5 million dollar increments based on benchmarks. Unfortunately, this year there is not enough money to do everything the public wants.
In addition to class room funding (or in competition with) is teacher pay. Currently there is 171 million in the education coffers. If we give each teacher a $2,500 raise then that only leaves 3 million for class room funding and of course, the numbers flip when the money is spent on class room funding and not teacher pay. (There are other numbers such as increasing the WPU to 7 or making it 3 which can tweek the numbers also and there is not the surplus that has been reported due to a slight slowing in the economy. That's a whole other entry.)
It seems this year we are stuck between two good decisions. I of course, am for better teacher pay but I am also for smaller class sizes. I am going to contact my legislator to see what his thoughts are and I encourage everyone to do the same. Let's make sure that the best action is taken for our kids.
You can find your legislator's information at www.le.state.ut.us
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Aged?
You know you're getting old when you go to a concert and three things happen:
1) Upon hearing that it's standing room only you wonder how long the concert will be and if your back can take standing that long.
2) You take photos/recordings of the artist to show your kids
3) You only know the words to the two songs played on "soft hits" radio
1) Upon hearing that it's standing room only you wonder how long the concert will be and if your back can take standing that long.
2) You take photos/recordings of the artist to show your kids
3) You only know the words to the two songs played on "soft hits" radio
Thursday, February 14, 2008
This is Funny
Church Bulletins!
Thank heaven for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
---------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
Last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
Thank heaven for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
---------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
Last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
A Day in the Mind of a Ten Year Old Boy
It's time to get up and shower. (Shower running) I don't have to use soap today, I used soap yesterday.
Where's a towel? Here, I'll just use my pajamas.
Time for Breakfast. Mmm, cookies sound good. (Mom comes down stairs) Better hide the cookie and have cereal. (A few cereal pieces fall on the floor) Ah, mom will get those. Oops, stepped on one.
No mom, I don't have any homework. (mom asks to see book bag) Oh, yeah I forgot, I have a sheet of math.
(Mom says get shoes and socks on) Darn, no socks, that's ok I'll go without. (mom says to get socks) There aren't any socks in my drawer, I'll used dad's.
Six hours later.....
(mom picks up from school, asks how was your day) Fine. (mom asks what did you learn in class) I can't remember but we had a great time at recess.
I'll get an after school snack. Mom, what snacks do we have? (mom says, apples, cheese sticks, cheese and crackers, cookies, burritos) Shoot, there's nothing to eat. Don't we have any candy?
(mom asks what do you want for dinner) I want 7 layer dip or Del Taco. I hate it when we have chicken, or salad or vegetables or soup or......
(it's time for reading, 20 minutes to go) I'll get my book but I'm just going to turn the TV on while I read. (mom says turn the TV off) Maybe I'll just play with these action figures for a while.
(time for bed, mom says brush your teeth) I can't find my toothbrush, oh well. (mom asks when did you lose your toothbrush?) I think I had it three days ago. I can't remember. I'll use my brother's.
(lights out, prayers said, time to sleep) Where's the flashlight? I'm going to read for a while.
Where's a towel? Here, I'll just use my pajamas.
Time for Breakfast. Mmm, cookies sound good. (Mom comes down stairs) Better hide the cookie and have cereal. (A few cereal pieces fall on the floor) Ah, mom will get those. Oops, stepped on one.
No mom, I don't have any homework. (mom asks to see book bag) Oh, yeah I forgot, I have a sheet of math.
(Mom says get shoes and socks on) Darn, no socks, that's ok I'll go without. (mom says to get socks) There aren't any socks in my drawer, I'll used dad's.
Six hours later.....
(mom picks up from school, asks how was your day) Fine. (mom asks what did you learn in class) I can't remember but we had a great time at recess.
I'll get an after school snack. Mom, what snacks do we have? (mom says, apples, cheese sticks, cheese and crackers, cookies, burritos) Shoot, there's nothing to eat. Don't we have any candy?
(mom asks what do you want for dinner) I want 7 layer dip or Del Taco. I hate it when we have chicken, or salad or vegetables or soup or......
(it's time for reading, 20 minutes to go) I'll get my book but I'm just going to turn the TV on while I read. (mom says turn the TV off) Maybe I'll just play with these action figures for a while.
(time for bed, mom says brush your teeth) I can't find my toothbrush, oh well. (mom asks when did you lose your toothbrush?) I think I had it three days ago. I can't remember. I'll use my brother's.
(lights out, prayers said, time to sleep) Where's the flashlight? I'm going to read for a while.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Disney Fever
I'm so excited, my hubby surprised me with tickets to Disneyland in two weeks. We're only taking the two younger kids because the two older opted to go to the presidential inauguration next Jan. I'm really looking forward to getting to some warmer weather.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
New Image
I find myself with a case of the "giddyups". I have recently agreed to take on a new challenge and while I am most excited about the prospect I can't help but feel a deep sense of urgency. I have somehow managed to secure the perspective that I have found my place in this great world. The focus is becoming sharper and details that have been, up till now, obscured are bursting forth with great vivacity. I attribute this epiphany in a great part to age. The scales of insecurity and doubt are falling, only to be replaced with surety and confidence. I realize that these tremendous feelings will ebb and flow depending on life's trials but for the moment I am taking great solace in the fact that I can do so much. This thinking was affirmed by a fantastic quote from Gordon B. Hinkley, former president of the LDS church:
"You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must spread to others..."
"You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must spread to others..."
Friday, February 1, 2008
GFC 11
Here is my Good Force Challenge since it's been a while. A friend of mine related a story to me at Christmas about a "Pay it Forward" type event that took place in a neighboring town. At a local coffee stand there was a customer who everyday would pay for the cup of coffee of the car behind her. This was something she did year round but due to the holiday it seems the do "good fever" was catching. Two days before Christmas this woman stopped for her daily cup of coffee and as was her habit, paid for the car behind. When the next car pulled forward they did the same as did the next car and the next. It was reported in the paper that this kind act was repeated 100 times that day, each car paying for the one behind. This is the inspiration for our new challenge.
Your challenge is to carry a $20 bill around and find a way to help someone or just brighten their day. This may take a while and it may cause us to exit our comfort zone for a moment but you never know when you can make someone's day. Try paying for the car behind in the fast food drive up, leave your $20 bill with the grocery clerk for the next person in line. Make a goods donation of a book to the local Goodwill and tuck the $20 inside with a note that says, "just for you" or "it's your lucky day". There are a myriad of ways we can brighten someone's day in the dark days of winter.
Happy hunting!
Your challenge is to carry a $20 bill around and find a way to help someone or just brighten their day. This may take a while and it may cause us to exit our comfort zone for a moment but you never know when you can make someone's day. Try paying for the car behind in the fast food drive up, leave your $20 bill with the grocery clerk for the next person in line. Make a goods donation of a book to the local Goodwill and tuck the $20 inside with a note that says, "just for you" or "it's your lucky day". There are a myriad of ways we can brighten someone's day in the dark days of winter.
Happy hunting!
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