Ugh, seriously! One of these days I'm going to wake up and have everything in order and not feel like I'm living in a hotel. It seems that each week, more and more days are starting to feel like they belong to me. Last week I actually had two days in a row that felt like they fell into the realm of "normal". I have noticed that when I cook a meal, it feels foreign to me. When I go grocery shopping, it's like a new experience. These things tell me I've been out of touch with life for too long. It was actually kind of fun the other day to plan a menu, go shopping and then fix dinner from the ingredients I had. What a novel idea.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying PTA. It's actually a slow down from parade. The many women who have volunteered to help out this year are doing a great job and I'm so grateful that I haven't had to do everything myself.
My husband and I joke that I'm on my one year countdown. Once parade was over on the 19 of July the clock started ticking, once July 18, 2009 is over- I'm taking a vacation. It will be finished.
Through all this I have learned one thing- I'm enough.
I have finally released myself from that feeling of needing to prove my worth to others. I know I can do it. I know I am strong (if not a little crazy) and I know that being a mom is more worthwhile than any other job or hobby in the universe. I'm grateful for this lesson and more than a little concerned that I had to drag my family on my journey of self discovery. I can only hope that the person I have become, and will continue to develop, will be the best person for my family. That through all our involvement my children will look back and say that their mom taught them that anyone can do hard things.
4 comments:
I don't think I tell you often enough how amazing you are... not only do you do hard things (many of them!) but you do them well. It's a pleasure to work with you, but more than that, it's a pleasure to be your friend :).
Ditto what Lisa R.D. said. I am always amazed at all you take on and what a good job it looks like you do. Hey, are you the only sister left in Utah now? That must be strange!
I'm so proud of you !! You have learned one of life's most important lessons, and comparativly early. Now you can choose to do what you want to do because you want to do,it rather than because you're proving yourself.
You will probably always accomplish more than most because of your many skills and talents, but now maybe you can relax and realize that you don't need to do it all at once. You'll have times and seasons and will grow with each one.
Congrats, it's great to see you have learned what we all have known for a long time, you are truely amazing!
I've read this post before, but I was reading it again just now (I know, lame...nothing better to do than re-read old blogs?) and I'll put July 18th on my calendar. It'd be nice if I could FINALLY make it to one of your parades. I think we'll be in Utah by then next summer.
Post a Comment