Ugh, Parents

So, long story short, this little girl has been bullying my 10 year old son for over a year. Not in an overly aggressive way but it was childhood teasing that has become perpetual and irritating. My son was never afraid but had grown weary of always having to deal with this girl's relentless teasing. She goes to his school and is a member of our church and I have heard her shout a stupid name at him as we passed while going home from school and I have seen how he avoids her at church by sitting at the farthest end of the row by himself. The sad truth is this, for six months my son has asked me to deal with this young lady and I have put it off because I wanted to find a non-threatening way to ask this girl to stop. I am ashamed that my son has gone so long dealing with this because I have been too afraid of causing a situation with her parents to be his advocate. Even at the beginning of last night, my youngest son (his younger brother) asked me to speak with this girl and I said no because it was the Christmas party and I felt it was inappropriate.

I'm not sure at what point in the evening the "incident" took place but when my husband and I got home, he relayed the fact that the mother of this girl (a woman I respect and call a friend), had approached him and said that our oldest son (my 13 year old, not the 10 year old who has been teased for a year) told her daughter that he would stuff raisins up her nose if she didn't leave his brother alone. This woman then continued with (and this bothers me the most); "I just thought you'd want to know that your 13 year old son is picking on little girls."

My husband said he'd handle it and proceeded to talk to our oldest about what happened. While he was engaged in this conversation, the young lady came up to the two of them and said "so can I punch him in the nose now?" To which my husband looked her in the eye and said; "No, but what you can do is never say another word to (my son) again. No teasing, no bothering, no nothing."

This young lady was surprised at the straightforwardness of my husband and left without saying anything else.

The thing that bothers me the most about this event is not what my oldest did (we've spoken to him about how his words were a threat and that we don't behave that way) but that I let it get to the point where he felt he had to defend his brother. I failed in this thing as a parent.

I am currently trying to decide how/if I am going to contact my friend about this and let her know our side of what happened. It will take me a while until I can get past the urge to say "I just thought you should know your 10 year old daughter is a bully." and so I have decided to wait until I can have a rational conversation. I don't know, I don't know whether I should just let it alone because the girl has been handled or if I should just bite the bullet and speak out. I suppose if she persists I will have to act, and act quickly, but for now, I am at a loss.

House decorated: check
Gifts purchased and wrapped: check
Stocking stuffers purchased: check
Stocking stuffers placed into bags labeled with name of child to whom it will go: check
Baking supplies purchased: check

To do:
Bake!!!

I'm so ahead of the curve this year I scare myself.

How Sweet it is!

I dropped my thirteen year old and his friend off at school the other day and as he got out of the car he said "love ya mom. Have a good day." I felt so happy that he cared and that even at thirteen, I still get to hear "I love you" in public places.
Yay for teenagers!

F.E.A.R.

So we had a really great talk in church a couple weeks back that I've been meaning to share. It was given by a member of our ward whose profession it is to counsel those with addictions. His specialty is in dealing with patients addicted to porn. Needless to say, he has some very powerful insights and he shared some in his talk.

One of the acronyms he uses is this:
(F)alse
(E)vidence
(A)ppearing
(R)eal

I loved this! He is so right, all fear is is the message the receptor in our brain sends. Sometimes fear is useful, that tingle you get when you're in a dangerous situation, the desire to run from danger. The problem with that little receptor is that it can interpret things in an unrealistic way. Fear of the dark, fear of failing, etc. He mentioned that Satan is really good a pushing that little receptor over and over to paralyze us, keep us from progressing. He wants us to feel F.E.A.R. because it can stop us from doing our best.

He suggested that when we feel F.E.A.R. we should use a tool that he teaches to his patients and it is this; place your hand over your heart and repeat; "I am safe", "I am loved", "I am good" and "I am ordained".

That last one caught me off guard but after pondering on that for a while I realized it is true. We have all been set apart to do something on this earth. We must choose to limit the F.E.A.R. we respond to so that we can fulfill the role we were meant to play.

May you have a safe, loved, good and ordained day!

Messiah

It's finally here! I get to go to the annual Messiah sing-in in our town. I look forward to this tradition every year and I have been practicing my alto part in the Hallelujah Chorus so I can sing open and unflinching with the others in attendance. I love the feeling in the room; voices raised in song praising the Lord! If you have something similar to this where you are, go! It's such a wonderful experience.


Have a great weekend!

Faith and Obedience

I am not faithful. I'm not saying this in a "forgive me because I've sinned" way but because over the past year I have realized that faith is not my strong suit. When the chips are down, my first inclination is not to believe God will guide me but to earn my way out. My confusion was that I believed simply making good choices, praying more, studying more and attending church more would rid me of trial whereas I have learned that those acts are simply a token of faith.

I have learned that I am obedient. I can follow directions and instructions and guidelines and commandments and anything else that comes my way that I know will better my life. I think that it has finally begun to come together for me to know that in moments of fear, when I act in obedience, that I am cultivating my faith. Perhaps in the years to come the talents of faith and obedience will grow equally in me and I can become a master of both.

The Year That Was A Miracle

I know this will sound more like an end of the year post but with Thanksgiving here, I could not help but to express my gratitude about the preceding year.
2010 has proved to be the hardest year of my life. Never before have I felt so much fear and uncertainty about what my future holds and requested so much from God. I have buffeted between despair, confusion, anger, elation and awe. This has been an ongoing theme for the past 11 months. It's at the end of this time that I have the luxury of looking back and it is with deep gratitude that I can count the miracles of 2010.
We began this year as struggling entrepreneurs, uncertain as to the viability of the small company for which we worked. I have, on several occasions, seen the deadline of self sufficiency approach and wondered if we could care for ourselves and our needs in the weeks to come. I have also been amazed when, as they say, God opens a window. I do not know what our future holds, as it seems as precarious now as it has been through this year and yet I hold fast to the knowledge that God is aware of me, He knows my needs and He has always filled them.
So it is with gratitude that I write today, the day before Thanksgiving, and share a small portion of my story with you in the hope that even though we may suffer, indeed be tried to the limits of what we thought possible, we can find the miracles God works on our behalf.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with the giving of thanks and may you find the miracles you seek.

Lula Mae