This or That

During scripture study tonight we talked about agency. I've read many books, both secular and scriptural that address this topic. It seems that most often, from a parenting point of view it is always presented as an important point to teach children choice and accountability. Obviously we want our children to know the difference between right and wrong and that each choice has a consequence. But how often do we teach our children that there is a difference between the right to choose, and choosing wisely. I forget sometimes that "unlimited choices" is not the point. Freedom does not come from lack of constraint but from the blessings of good choices.

An attitude of Gratitude

I have had many reasons to feel a deep sense of thankfulness to my Heavenly Father. I often wonder at the kindness He shows to my family. I am filled with regret though at all the times I have failed to see His hand in the marvelous events in my life and others around me. I have the sincerest desire to achieve a higher awareness of His blessings and interventions on my behalf. I can only say that I will renew my desire to give my life to Him, as it is His anyway. I know that the greatest offering I can make to pay my debt is to live my life in a way that offers thanks and praise to Him. Funny, it seems so simple and yet I fall so short.

I am grateful also for the beautiful examples of friends who are faithful and unwavering. Be they of my faith or another, I know that the love of Christ is alive and well on the earth because they are living testaments of it. I can see that although there is so much darkness in the world, God has planted vessels of light everywhere to share His love and lift others up on His behalf. Thank you, my friends, and those whom I have never met, for the light you bring to the world. Thank you for filling the darkness and offering hope and support in the tempest. I am a better person because of your example and the world is a better place because you are here.

I Give it Five Stars

I was enjoying my backyard last night on a wonderful evening. As my husband and I were talking I had this thought: my life is like a really nice hotel. You know, the kind you love to stay at because the atmosphere is so wonderful. Like most of us, I love to stay at really nice hotels but no matter how great the beds are or the size of the tub in the bathroom, ultimately I know that none of it is really mine. When I am at a beautiful hotel, I'm often on my best behavior. I want to show respect to the proprietor of the property by treating it kindly and gently. I hope that I can show respect and gratitude to Heavenly Father for the beautiful "hotel" he has given me by treating it with respect and inviting others to come, and sit for awhile.

Decisions, Decisions

It seems lately that I have been keenly aware of the parenting choices I have to make each day. Every day comes with so many chances to screw things up or make things great. The smallest situations seem to have endless consequences. For example, when my son leaves peanut butter all over the counter and the bread out after he's made a sandwich I can choose to clean it up myself or walk outside, holler down the street, make him come home and deal with the grumbling that comes with it just so I can teach him it's important to clean up his mess. Because really, I'm trying to avoid having a 30 year old son who leaves the peanut butter on the counter and the bread bag open. It seems to follow that if he can't learn to put those things away, how will he learn to follow through with tasks in his profession? What employer will want to hire someone who always needs to be cleaned up after? What woman wants to marry a man who is more like a child? My greatest reward will be if my daughters-in-law can say that their husbands clean up after themselves and support their families. I have to remind myself that I am raising a man not a boy.

My Funky Van

So my kids and I got ready for swim lessons this morning (lessons start at 8:00 bells!) and they beat me out to the car. I was a couple of minutes behind them and by the time I opened my door, I was greeted by the children saying; "it stinks in here." As I got into the driver's seat I came to find they were correct. The scent was a cross between wet, moldy smelling kitchen rags and a wet diaper.
Because we were in a hurry I simply rolled the windows down and vowed to take care of it later.
As promised, I took the car into the car wash and told them I had a funk in my car, could they please find the source and rid my car of the smell.
When they returned my vehicle to me they didn't mention that they'd found anything but when I got into the car it still had a little smell to it. I'm hoping it's just remnant smell and all will be well with the world tomorrow. If it still is funky town in my car tomorrow I'm afraid I'll have to go to great measures to find out what my dear, sweet children have left to rot under one of the seats.

Gardner's Moon

I showed the Gardner's Moon today. I feel as though I should put a sign up in my yard for 24 hours before I work outdoors that reads: "Warning! Fat lady will be bending over out here tomorrow!" I feel that that would only be courteous as I do like most of my neighbors. As I was bending and moving today I chuckled to myself imagining the view from across the street. Oh well, the yard looks pretty.

Because I Have Something to Say

I've spent part of the morning reading blogs of note. These are blogs that have received some sort of acknowledgment from the mainstream media because, I'm assuming, they are considered good. While I absolutely won't deny that many of these bloggers have great writing skills I have come to believe that the true test of a blog becoming widely read (more that your mother and three friends) is the correct and prolific use of profanity. Really, what sentence doesn't have more meaning when it's laced with a few **** or some #$%@^*. I realize now that I have been so wrong in my attempt to carry on a somewhat intelligent (I realize this is up for debate) conversation with folks who's mouths didn't come from a truck stop. So to you, my few and related readers, I apologize. I am clearly lacking in my emotional ability to connect. Please, feel free to seek entertainment elsewhere should you need your daily dose of crap.

Sleep Deprived

I don't know about you but I operate on an perilously balanced sleep schedule. I really am amazed at my ability to appear fully functioning on limited hours of sleep. Really, I think I could challenge my college days self to a no-sleep marathon and win. I've gotten so used to the feeling of fatigue that I can't remember what it feels like to be rested. I mean yeah, I've had a day off here and there but if you amortize out my sleep loss over the eleven years of my motherhood, a day or two of extra sleep really is a drop in the bucket. What surprises me most is that this really doesn't seem to bother me anymore. It's like my mind has finally given itself over completely and utterly to mommy hood. There is no struggle for an extra five minutes in the morning or a dumping of projects for an afternoon nap. I have succumbed entirely. This is a badge of honor that I wear- "I am mommy and I am tired but I'm rockin' this gig anyway!"

Wake Up

I wish I could write. I wish I could express the amazing things that come into my head when things are quiet. I want to change the world somehow, to make it better with some grand idea or memorable saying. I have no life altering story, no grand awakening to share. I guess I have been seduced by the idea that change only matters when it is great. But then.... I remember that there are many small awakenings each day and that these things are not only revelations to myself but to everyone who opens their eyes to the light of the sun in the sky. Do we forget to give ourselves credit for waking up? Do we forget that the very act of choosing consciousness is a declaration of possibility? I suppose there are many who journey through life in an unconscious state, unable or unwilling to open their eyes to the possible effect they could have on this world or the effect of the world on them. Life is too great an opportunity to sleep through.

I Need You

I think Jane Austen was a purveyor of truth. Stories of romance and social injustice are often laced with the pitiful cattiness of humanity as well as the triumph of the good heart. I love books like this. Not just clever romance novels or writings on class systems in various countries, but the mesmerizing relationships of women. It's not a hidden sexual fantasy about the same sex but a longing for the freedom to openly need one another. How deeply we need each other! It seems that women from bygone times knew this, or were more open with these expressions. Perhaps it was because equality with men was unattainable and so for our survival we formed the ranks of sisterhood. Have we sold our female closeness for what we perceive to be equality with men? Throughout the ages women have sought each other for compassion and comfort. We have wept with one another and laughed with one another, shared life and death and every daily struggle. But it seems today that acknowledging our neediness is perceived as our greatest weakness.

I have the privilege to know great women. I watch them when I can, I admire them always, but so often from these feelings come insecurity and even jealousy and a desire to hide my weakness. How many opportunities for learning and kindness I have missed because of my desire to appear strong. Maybe life is too fast or maybe we have created a world where individual enrichment and strength is seen as the greatest wealth. I'm not suggesting that women no longer share kindnesses with one another, I am lamenting that we are forgetting how to accept them, or even more so, we have forgotten that it's important to need them. I believe it is probably one of the greatest gifts women can give to one another, the open acknowledgement that we need someone. We all need to be needed. We crave it! And when we feel unneeded, we make room for all the emotions that are hard and sad.
I have thus decided to become a follower of Jane's heroines. This will be a difficult task, one through which I will feel a great deal of discomfort but I am determined to show my friends and family I love them by allowing myself to need them and allowing them to know I need them. I am convinced that through this I will learn more than I could ever dream of understanding on my own.
To every woman on this mother's day weekend; you are needed, wanted and loved.

Sunscreen

It is the first day that we are projected to hit 80 degrees. I'm rather excited about this even though tomorrow's forecast is for showers. I am also in the quandary I find myself every year on a day like this, I need sunscreen but have not made the first purchase of the year. As I was researching sunblock, I wondered, how do they test sunscreen to know if they are effective? Well, Hannah Holmes had the answer. Apparently, they actually use people. And wouldn't you know, it's the folks from England who are the lucky guinea pigs. (I wonder if they have to send them to Hawaii or Puerto Rico to actually find sun.) What an interesting job, "sunscreen guinea pig". I guess somewhere in my mind I too think it's okay to risk Melanoma for a day at the beach. Either way, a big shout out to those of the fair skin who easily burn, your sacrifice does not go unappreciated.

Anyway, as you know there are a myriad of choices for sun protection and sometimes it's hard to narrow down the field to make the best selection for your family. Consumersearch.com has a list of tested products that work the best. And if you need information on preventing and treating sunburn, The Skin Cancer Foundation has a plethora of useful information for moms.

Well, I'm off to the store and then the backyard. Here's wishing you a burn-free summer!

The Becoming

As the season changes and the earth turns from the dusty colors of winter to the vibrant greens of spring I can't help but be amazed at the transformation. It has caused me to think about the butterflies I raised last year and what a fun learning experience that was. I remember one specific stage of the butterflies' lives that really astonished me. Just before the caterpillar envelopes itself in a chrysalis it has an astonishing task to complete. The caterpillar will hang upside down and form itself into a "J". After a few moments of hanging in complete stillness the caterpillar will shake, almost like it's having a seizure. During the "seizure", the caterpillar's skin splits right down the back and is shed completely from the body of the caterpillar. After that, the caterpillar resumes it's stillness and begins the barely noticeable process of encasing itself in the chrysalis. I was lucky to actually witness this with two of the caterpillars we raised. I was amazed and couldn't help but wonder, "was that painful?". The caterpillar seemed to be trying so hard to rid itself of the skin that encased it's body.

When I see the leaves of my quaking aspen unfolding themselves from the white bark I wonder too, "does that hurt?". Every little thing, emerging from it's dark winter hiding place must have to put forth quite a bit of effort to become what it is meant to be. It has brought me comfort to have these thoughts. I have felt so often a great deal of discomfort when moving from one stage of life to the next. I ask myself, "why is this so hard?". I have come to think that not only is the point of our lives to become someone better, but to learn to take comfort in "the becoming".

The Mommy Mind

My friend and I were discussing the phenomenon of the "Mommy Mind" the other day. It's what happens to your brain when you have children. (This transformation happens irregardless of offspring being biological or adopted.) Here are some things that are signs you have a "Mommy Mind".

1: You know that house slippers can buy you four days between floor cleanings.
2: You know your child has a messy diaper before anyone else can smell it.
3: You consider "Goodnight Moon" good poetry and can recite from memory.
4: You know "why".
5: You figure if it's clean, it's in fashion.
6: You spend more on gas than on beauty products.
7: You know a band aid can work miracles and can unwrap and place with one movement
8: You can tell the difference between Pokemon and Digimon and know that Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are the same person
9: You know the function of Psuedoephedrine, Acetamenophin and Ibuprofen
10: You can recite your pediatrician's phone number faster than your own

What Lies Beneath

I have spent part of my day cleaning the main rooms of my house. It seems that part of all my days are always spent cleaning the main rooms of my house. I always want to make a good impression on anyone who visits. However, if any person were to venture up the stairs they would find an alternate universe. Clutter and disorder reign in the bedrooms. It dawned on me that my life in general is much this way. I am very good a cultivating the parts of me that everyone sees regularly and yet there is such work to be done on the inner self (or upstairs, as the metaphor goes.) I guess this would be a wisdom lesson I am learning; work must be done everywhere in order to make the house whole. Here's to spring cleaning!

Fight Club

As a mother of three boys I knew this day would come. We have now navigated our way through our first fist fight. (For grandmas who are reading this, it was minor and no one was physically hurt. But pride on the other hand...)

Apparently my son (who shall remain unnamed) was mouthing off and got a little verbal argument going. I guess that was enough for him and he threw the first punch only to get it handed to him by the other kid. Our delinquent came home in tears and relayed his version of the story to his dad. Of course my husband listened to the story and did a little detective work on his own. According to one of our other sons, our instigator deserved what he got. My husband followed DEF CON 4 procedure by explaining the reasons we do not start fist fights and sent the twerp to bed.

I am really surprised that I am not more upset about this. First of all, my child likes to talk smack and I think that since he got his pride handed to him in a paper bag, this was a good lesson learned. Second, there is a part of me that wants to kick the other kid's butt myself. He's a punk and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind. (Of course, there are laws against that and well, I don't want to go to jail.) I guess I can say that now I truly feel like I have been inducted into the "Mother of Boys" club!

My House

I had the thought today that at my house there are always dishes in the sink and crumbs on the floor. There is always laundry to be done and dust on the piano. And all too often, the toilet doesn't get flushed. At my house there is always noisy wrestling and an ongoing search for clean socks. There is homework and violin practice and soccer game weekends.
At my house there are Bar B Q's, birthday parties and late nights with friends. There are game nights and dinner groups and backyard get-togethers. And sometimes, when I notice the dust on the floor and piano because I haven't had time to clean or sigh with exasperation at having to flush the toilet for someone else I am grateful that my days are filled with the sounds of children, that I have good friends and that I am needed.

A Christ Centered Easter

We have begun celebrating the week of Easter today (technically it started yesterday but we used yesterday's lesson for today's scripture study). I purchased a book called "A Christ Centered Easter" a few years ago and I've used it most years since. For our scripture study today we talked about Palm Sunday and what the significance of that event was. We also started an LOA wall or, Love One Another wall. All week everyone can write reasons we love one another on the poster board and on Easter we will read them. Some of the other things we have planned:

Monday: "The Easter Story in Eggs"
Tuesday: "Parable Charades"
Wednesday: "Parable of the 10 Virgins", make oil lamps
Thursday: discuss the last supper and have our own nice dinner
Friday: "Easter Cookies", these cookies become hollow like the tomb
Saturday: The Easter bunny comes
Sunday: Wake the kids up to "Handel's Messiah", have a "Plan of Salvation Treasure Hunt" on Easter afternoon


I'm really excited for this week and I hope that my children get more out of Easter than just a stomach ache. I don't know that Easter is associated with Christ like Christmas is. After all, Christmas happened so that Easter could. And Easter happened so that we could all have eternal life. I think it's important to teach children that Christmas and Easter were both part of Christ's life and that each was important to our lives here on earth and our lives after. I hope you all have a happy Easter week!





Here is the recipe for Easter Cookies, even my 10 year old likes doing this activity.
You need:
1 C whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 Egg whites
pinch salt
1 C sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape and Bible


Preheat oven to 300 F. Place pecans in zipper bag and let children beat then with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. read John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. into a mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 C sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in the broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and "seal" the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matt. 27:65-66.

Go to bed! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22

On Easter Morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are Hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matt. 28:1-9

I Have Issues

Okay, so that may not be news to anyone who knows me but really, I think I'm getting better with age. Lately though, I've wondered about one crappy personality trait that has reared it's ugly head. I have spent so much time thinking about how to overcome this because it really alters my behavior. I find it so disturbing that I can accomplish so much, try so hard and still find serious faults in myself. And not only that, I feel that others notice them equally visibly as well. What bothers me the most is that my insecurity causes me to be defensive to any who appears judgemental or threatening. It alters everything when it flares up and I find that navigating life at those times seems excruciatingly daunting. It's hard to know when to stick up for an idea or plan when I'm so concerned about what other people think. It's irritating to feel the constant need to prove myself.

Looking back, I'm making great strides but I know there is a long path of self evaluation and growth ahead. I envy those who feel confident without personal quid pro quo. I know that people like that exist because I've met them and had this conversation. It is my ultimate goal to someday wake up and feel like I'm good enough and centered enough that I can be the force of good I want to be. Until then, I'll keep doing my best to learn from my mistakes and congratulate myself on the awesome things I can do.

Aged?

You know you're getting old when you go to a concert and three things happen:
1) Upon hearing that it's standing room only you wonder how long the concert will be and if your back can take standing that long.
2) You take photos/recordings of the artist to show your kids
3) You only know the words to the two songs played on "soft hits" radio

This is Funny

Church Bulletins!
Thank heaven for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
Last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours