Age and Experience

I've had some interesting run-ins with some teenage neighbors this week. After one such encounter, I had to take a walk to cool down I was so angry. After having worked with youth now for about a decade, I'm no stranger to attitude but these experiences have really concerned me.

While I was discussing the benefits of age and experience, one young lady commented that "you keep telling yourself that" in regards to my belief that those things (age/experience) were beneficial. It wouldn't have bothered me so much except that I don't know her and she wasn't joking. It really was nothing short of rude.

The next encounter was deeply upsetting to me. An 18 year old neighbor came over to use our basketball hoop (without permission). While he was there with his younger (12) brother, my children came out to join them. During the game my youngest son (6) commented that although our Korean exchange student didn't make the shot, he could do it in "his world". The response from the 18 year old neighbor was to call my 6 year old son a "racist Jew". When my 12 year old son came to his aid by calling the offender a "Hippie Punk" the 18 year old then told my son to "shut up, you're stupid". This verbal abuse went on for about 10 minutes until my six year old came in to get parental reinforcement.

Let me just say that both my husband and I were out of our chair lightning fast. The neighbor was lucky my husband made it out the door first and dealt with it because this momma bear was ready to rumble.

My husband informed this little delinquent that he was on our court, at our house and that he better watch himself to which the neighbor boy responded "so your kids are allowed to disrespect on this court"? (Even relaying this experience through blogging is making me want to smack someone.) This kid seriously argued with my husband about our parenting skills for about three minutes before my husband told him to back off. Even after my husband came back inside, the kid had the brass to play basket ball at our house for another ten minutes before finally leaving.

Let me say that I've never had trouble with this kid before but he does have a reputation. I've always given him the benefit of the doubt but after this, I've just decided to keep my distance.

The question I have after all this is what are we really teaching our kids? When I was young (and every generation before) we were taught to respect adults. Without wanting to sound like a media prude, I have to say that all these TV shows about how stupid adults are and how kids/teens should be able to get away with anything is really jacking up our young people. And the fact that we allow our children to watch them is a problem. Parents are so confused about wanting to be their kids friend that they forget to be their kids parent. Enough already, someone has to be in charge and my money is on age and experience.

Who We Are

I love my family. In fact, in the past few months I have felt such a deep, new kind of love for my children and husband that I have become singular in my view of it. My children are my joy, my husband my dearest friend. It is my deepest desire that our family unit be as close as possible. Through trial and joy we are weeding out the things we are not in order to solidify the things we are. We are creating the identity of our unit! Solidifying the oneness of our lives together.

What are we? Faithful, hard workers, open, kind, learning, loving and most of all, strong. Whether we are home together or individually out in the world, we are the Olds!

To My Child

I remember the day you were born, it was a beautiful day and you came into this world surrounded by family. Your father and I were filled with anticipation and hope at your arrival. Looking back I wonder what made us think that we could raise a child and now I can hardly believe it's been several years.

I have to confess that your creation and birth were more about what I wanted than what you may have chosen. We wanted a baby. We wanted a family and most especially we wanted you. Even on the day of your birth my thoughts were about how scared I was and how my body felt. You were a new adventure and a great possibility and yet something completely unknown. Don't get me wrong, we planned for you. I read books, took classes and created a nice place for your new life here on earth but really your life was something I wanted for myself. Even as prepared as I thought I was, I now understand that your summons to the world was beyond my understanding.

And so, you are my teacher, my crash course as it may be. It doesn't seem to matter the classes I take or the books I read, I realize that I am parenting on the fly. You are the ultimate experiment through which I will write the manual to help raise your siblings. I know this is hard for you. I know that sometimes the frustration I raise in your life can be overwhelming but I have something to offer you as well. I have and will continue to give you opportunity. I promise that I will do my best to learn as much as I can and teach you the things I know and then give you avenues to test them out. I ask only one thing, please be patient. Please know that as your mother, I have to stop you sometimes. I have to tell you no.

Thanks to you, I can now enjoy the luxury of looking back. You have given me that. I have a reference point now that you have kindly offered through your limited time here with me. But as you grow you are beginning to move into your own sphere and that causes me to be afraid. Before, I could easily find the answers to your questions, and the monsters that haunted the corners of your little life were not scary to me. Now your monsters are my monsters too. I am equally afraid of those things that hide in the dark places of life and sometimes I know that I am the only one who sees them for what they are. Sometimes I feel as though we are two children brandishing plastic swords at an unseen, although real, hidden enemy. I promise that I will be the brave one. Do not be afraid, I will be the first one into the dark. I will always offer my life for yours because I love you.

Celebrity Status

My Belgian plays soccer. Really. well. He is a superstar at the local High School and I have told him thank you for elevating me to celebrity status. I love hearing the awe with which other parents discuss "the foreign exchange student from Belgium" while I'm sitting within earshot. It's even better when I feel like participating and mention, "I'm his host mom". I always get a "Oh he's such a great kid" or "He plays soccer so well". I love it! Totally fun.

Teaser

Howdy everyone! How is life treating you? I have had no desire whatsoever to post anything and so I have not.

I have however, read some great books. Wouldn't you love it if I would elaborate on that? Hmmm, too bad.

I guess I just thought I'd check in to make sure you were all doing well. Hope you're having a great day!