All The Fixins

I've been perusing Facebook while I've been awake in the wee hours of the morning. I usually avoid FB. I always come away with mixed feelings about everything I've read. So, sitting here in the quiet dark, when there is no one to talk to and things always seem to take on a mental life of their own, is probably not the best time to be taking in the self improvement firehose that is Facebook today. With the New Year there is an abundance of posts regarding goals and while I don't begrudge anyone the desire to improve, I've found myself feeling anxiety about how I (don't) measure up to the perceived progress everyone else is making or desires to make. Now, before you go getting your knickers in a twist, know that I am fully aware that I shouldn't be comparing myself to folks. I KNOW! I also know that it's January 2 and seriously, how much progress can a person make in 24 hours?! But here I am, sitting in the dark, worried about how far behind I am in my life. Yeah, I've set goals for the year. I've even done quite a bit of work to make sure I'm successful at them. The problem is, my goals are simply to catch up to where I think I should be in life. My goals are to fix mistakes I've been making for decades which have landed me in uncomfortable situations. While I know that at the end of 2019 I will possibly feel a sense of accomplishment, I worry that rather than becoming more, I will simply be surviving. So here is the conundrum of 2019; is surviving this year enough? Can I find a way to be content fixing my mistakes and count it a success?